Thanks for checking back in on my story about Losing My Six Figure Job.
Today I wanted to take a moment to write about the office politics of losing my job.
Most people receive a severance package during a layoff and are immediately walked out the door. However, as you may have read in my other posts, that was not my case.
I was given a severance agreement to stay until March 15, 2017.
Initially, I thought…..this is fantastic! Why was it fantastic? I thought you would never ask.
- Burned out!! I began to dislike my job about a year ago and knew I needed to start looking elsewhere.
- This agreement would give me 2 1/2 months to get things in order on a personal and professional level without being caught off guard by a quick exit.
- It allowed me to do additional planning in regards to getting a house (instead of staying in my apartment) because I would have a verifiable six figure income until March 15.
- I would be able to slowly transition my work load without it being overwhelming for my team. The last thing I wanted was this event to have an enormously negative impact on them.
- I had lost complete respect for my boss/her boss and the company. Don’t get me wrong, I love a company that is innovative and I enjoy a positive change….but the changes I had witnessed over the past year were anything but positive.
Those are my top 5 reasons for thinking this was fantastic….BUT……there were things that I was not prepared for…… drum roll please!
- I was naïve enough to think that because the company and I had agreed that the agreement was confidential….that no one would know I was losing my job until the day I left. I should have known better….that place is like a small town….and people started finding out the day I signed the agreement.
- The feeling of being irritated that people knew. Here’s the deal, I wasn’t upset that people would find out….but I wanted it to be because I told them….and not some little gossip queen skipping around the office running her mouth.
- The anxiety of waiting for the 2 1/2 months to be over. It is like having a super awesome vacation planned and you have to wait….and wait….and wait…and WAIT! The time is just crawling and it seems like March 15 will never get here!
- Dealing with people who are not able to look me in the eyes. Uh Hello….that means you know. It is very frustrating because I literally want to scream at them…. “Hey asshole…….don’t feel sorry for me……I get to leave this shit hole with a lot of money and you have to stay here. So, feel sorry for your damn self.” It is really starting to piss me off and I hope I don’t go bat shit crazy on the next person that looks at me with pity.
- Maintaining the drive to finish strong. This one is a catch 22 for me. I have always been a hard worker and dedicated to whatever position I accepted but this was a little different. For whatever reason, the company decided that I was no longer valuable to them. So I waiver back and forth on a weekly basis with finding the drive to finish strong. A part of me says “Fuck em” since they didn’t see my value, why would I want to help them on my way out. However, another side of me believes that what goes around…comes around. Meaning, I don’t need to pay them back for being shitty…….life has a way of taking care of those type of things without me having to contribute.
Overall this has been an eye opening experience. I am not sure I would agree to this type of arrangement if it ever presented itself again in the future. However, I have made a deal with the devil and I must finish it out, regardless of how painful it may be right now.
I keep telling myself everyday……You have “x” amount of days left and you are a fighter…..you will get through this and everything will be just fine!
Sometimes a giant dose of self talk (and a lot of prayer) are the only things you need in order to walk through the fire without losing yourself along the way.
If you are going through something similar….stay strong and grounded in the fact that you know who you are. Keep this in mind as well because this is my favorite saying….
Until next time my friends, Christie